I just can’t believe it. I’ve been living in the Bay for half-a-fucking-year. It doesn’t seem like it, but everyday I’m newly reminded of how different it is up here, how I’m not in Kansas anymore. But really? Fuck Kansas that shit is lamesville. Now don’t go getting your knickers in a bunch SD heads. I still love the 19.04. But the Bay does it so much better. Sometimes I get sad when I wake up and I can see my own breath, or I’m craving Carne Asada Fries, and I realize I’m not home. But then I just layer on some tights and throw on a cute coat (Coat: a word unknown to native San Diegans. A heavy garment that provides exponential amounts of heat) or eat a pupusa with beans, avocados and cheese, and I’m good to go. And then there are the days I crave Wings ‘N’ Things. There is no substitute. Those days I remain sullen until I forget.
But I guess now is appropriate for an update. I feel like my days are same old same old, but they’re not. Everything is just crazy different, in every possible way. It smells like weed everywhere you turn, and kids take getting dressed everyday fucking seriously. I can dig that…I’ve always dreamed of a place where I could walk around in rainbow tights pulled over my pants, hot pink jeans, SB’s and teal streaks in my hair. Well not really, but its fun to see. You go girl! Work that weave! Even the white folks are different up here. But then again, I work in Berkeley…so…go figure. Life is fucking great. I live in a community where you can drink wine in the movie theaters, can see all three bridges if you climb the hills high enough behind my house, or get shot if you stray to far into Richmond. Oh yeah, I live like a mile from the #9 most dangerous city in the country, and maybe 10 miles from #4. So life is constantly exciting.
This was by far the best decision I have ever made. I feel like I’m growing up right before my very eyes. I was fucking up super hard in San Diego, and I truly feel like God has granted me redemption. And I’m running with it. I love this year, this place, this feeling. I’m striving to be a better human being, and practicing what I preach. As cheesy as it sounds, I am the change I seek. I just needed a new view point. And I have one.
People ask me if I’m ever going back to San Diego, and my gut reaction is “God no.” I can’t explain what a ridiculously conservative, segregated, backwards town San Diego is compared to the rest of the world. And to be honest, I don’t want to. Cuz it’s home, ya know? As much as I hate it, it’s where I’m from. But yeah, I can’t see myself residing in the 19.04 ever again. It’s a great place to visit, but I think I’m a perma-convert.
All in all, I’m truly blessed. This half a year has opened my eyes, and my heart. I’ve made great friendships, have good stories to tell, and really feel like the Bay is where it’s at.
I understand now why people leave their hearts here.
